I don't know how much non-mom dishing I have to do?? LOL. Everything that pops into my head has to do with being a mom! I need to go do beginning of the month grocery shopping, the laundry volume has seemed unusually high the last week and I'm starting to panic that it will be our "new normal", we need to get more structured around school, blah, blah, blah....so, the non-mom stuff always takes a back burner, in my mind and in real life.
I've had one major life event that has been bothering me though. Remember my dad came to visit a few weeks ago? I was so excited to see him for the first time in almost 3 years. I was excited for him and the kids to spend time together, and for him to even meet a few he's never met. Well, it didn't go so well. He's always been a very selfish, self-centered person, and I guess not seeing him and just talking to him on the phone lulled me into thinking he had changed. Of course he hadn't and I'm so disappointed. I'm really hurt by the way he treated me, and the kids. He just sat around like a bump on a log when he wasn't talking on the phone. He's been single for years, but he's way into internet dating and always has a chick, or several of them he's talking to, or visiting, or they come to visit him. His newest one is moving from PA to AZ right now. We don't have much in common and he doesn't try to find any common ground with me. I get tired of listening to him talk on and on and then when I say something he blatantly ignores me. He never fails to mention, several times, how well off my brother is. My brother is "rich", but a complete jerk. I feel like I get no credit for being a good person because I don't have enough money to count for anything. It was my birthday when he was here and he gave me nothing, he didn't even say Happy Birthday till the very end of the day when I was going to bed. I don't know, the list of my complaints goes on and on. I feel bad, but I also feel like I really tried with him, AGAIN, and it was still, he was still, a disappointment. By the time I took him back to the airport I was just ready for him to be gone and for us to get back to our own little life. It was tense, tense enough that I think even he picked up on it. I haven't heard from him and it's been 2 weeks. I don't call him because he is either on the phone and doesn't answer, or he's already all talked out form being on the phone so much. I'm wondering if I will even hear from him at this point? But even if he did call I have no idea what I would say to him? I feel kinda done, but I hate to not have a relationship with him at all. For years, in my head I have thought "I don't deserve this", but this time I felt it in my heart. He was just being himself, and I shouldn't have expected him not to be, but I keep thinking at some point he will be able to be a human being and care for me in a way I *think* a dad should. I just keep telling myself these are important lessons for me to learn how to be a better parent to my kids, but it sucks, ya know?
So, there you have my non-mom dish.
Michele
Warden to 9 ~ Blake 14, Annie, 12, Collin 10, Kenna & Kent 8 (b/g twins), Dawson 6, ~ VR babies ~ Emma 3, George & Grant 2 (b/b twins).
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/03/2009 04:33 by room4more.
Well, 
