| June 2005 - This feature is a regular article where I share my observations, reflections, and "musings" about being a mother of a large family. I hope you enjoy my ramblings, and perhaps they will help inspire you, make you smile, or at the very least help pass a few minutes in your hectic day. |
The other day, Emma's preschool class spent their last day of school at a get-together at the local park. Parents and siblings were invited to come along and celebrate the end of a productive school year. I work out of the home, but thankfully my mother watches my children, so she took the two younger ones to meet up with the class. Paige, my 21 month old, and Monty, who's nearly 3, were a bit shy, but they managed to have a fun time. Emma's teachers and aides were delighted to meet Emma's younger siblings. Of course, many of the teachers began to ask Emma the names of her brother and sister, then they inquired as to the names of her other siblings who were not at the park. Emma, who is 4 years old, rattled off the names quickly. What was funny was that the teachers were not merely impressed, but a bit amazed. One individual commented that she was surprised that Emma could remember all their names. Later, when my mother was relaying the story to me, I had to laugh. To some it was amazing that Emma could keep track of the 6 other kids in her family. While this seemed so elementary, truth is, there are many people who feel that members of a large family are at constant risk of being lost in the crowd. Or, perhaps more startling, that there is somehow a limit on how many people you can love or bond to, or simply remember. They feel this is especially true for children.
It has always been a fear of some parents that if they have one too many children, there will somehow not be enough love to go around. While it is true that perhaps the amount of time or attention may be limited, there is no limit to how many individuals we can care about. Children are no exception. The teachers don't seem to find it odd that Emma can remember all of her classmates, which coincidentally there are 6 other kids in her room. Yet, the fact that she can recall all her brothers and sisters seems to be an astonishing feat. It's sad that this illustrates, that as society has moved toward smaller families, people have seemingly forgotten that as human beings, we are capable of incredible things...even at a very young age. Though, I hardly feel that loving and forming deep bonds with your family could be considered "incredible."
I remember Paige, very soon when she began to babble at age 1, she started to say the names of her siblings. At 21 months, when I ask her where one of her brothers or sisters is, she immediately points to them. My newborn, at 8 weeks, already gets excited and wiggles happily when her brothers and sisters come by, something she does not do when a stranger nears. In fact, when I first brought her home from the hospital, when she heard the voices of her siblings for the first time, her eyes grew wide and she got quite excited; she could recognize them from the womb. It is a known fact that children seek out and desire the interaction of other children. Babies are fascinated watching other babies--just ask the makers of the successful "Baby Einstein" videos. While there may be some hardships living in a large household, and there may be times when it's less than pleasant (though I think that could be said of any family), most children love having brothers and sisters and being a part of a family team. If you think if it, it would almost be a given that they would actually form strong connections, learning and remembering more about the people they live with day to day more than any other relationships in their lives. Despite knowing her classmates, I can recall several times when Emma could not remember a specific name, but she never forgets who her older sister is, or her younger brother is.
I am continually told by Emma's teachers how delightful she is, and how she is the "mamma" of her classroom. Despite being number 4 of 7 children, she is outgoing, confident, and adjusted. While I know I take some credit for that being her parent, I do attribute a large part of that to the fact that she has lots of brothers and sisters which has taught her to form relationships, make concessions, care for others in addition to being cared for, and to just generally get along with the people around her. As much as they are teaching her the basics of education, Emma is teaching them that being a part of a large family isn't necessarily a hinderance or bad thing, but a wonderful and beneficial thing. I'm sure Emma knows and remembers that too.
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Article by: Michelle Lehmann
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