| January 2004 - This feature is a regular article where I share my observations, reflections, and "musings" about being a mother of a large family. I hope you enjoy my ramblings, and perhaps they will help inspire you, make you smile, or at the very least help pass a few minutes in your hectic day. |
Several months ago, when this website was merely a sole message board with a handful of posters, I asked a question of the group. "Do you wear makeup?" It was not meant to have any heavy meaning or to discover some deep, dark secrets. Simply a poll to keep the conversation going. What surprised me were the answers. Most of the women not only wore makeup, but wore it regularly. Some even admitted not being able to leave the house without being "made up." I was really shocked. Not that it's not unusual for women to indulge in lipstick, eyeliner, and blush. What amazed me is that even though I have a large family, I had fallen victim to one of society's many misconceptions of parents of lots of kids.
When one mentions a person who has 6, or 8, or 12 kids, you often imagine a picture from yesteryear, with ma and pa standing on a farm with their brood behind them. You envision modern day people dressed in sweats, with disheveled hair, looking like they haven't gotten sleep in six months. Either that, or you think of Mike and Carol Brady...who looked so good because Alice took care of the house.
Despite the images portrayed by society and the media, the truth is, there is no "look" to having lots of kids. In fact, for the most part, you would never guess someone had a large family unless they happened to be surrounded by their kids at the time you met them. Personally, I've met some first-time parents who look far worse and more harried than the seasoned LOK mom or dad. Style is not contingent on how many children you do or don't have, though it may make you re-evaluate the cost of that style, especially if you're living on a budget.
Several years ago, Good Morning America held a contest to find some knock-out moms whom they would offer a modeling contract. Among the winners was a gorgeous blonde who happily announced she was the mother of six. None of the other mothers seemed to get much attention as everyone focused on this woman, querying how she could look so wonderful after giving birth six times. Amazing...or is it? Why can't a beautiful woman give birth multiple times and still look wonderful? Sure, some women gain weight and keep it after childbirth, but if someone really looked at it, they probably learn that the weight retention had more to do with genes rather than 9 months of baby. Even if childbirth did contribute to a set of full hips, you don't have to have a large family to be a plus-size.
LOK families come from all walks of life. Religious and non-religious. Rich, poor, and somewhere in-between. Working parents and stay-at-home ones. And just as varied are the lifestyles of these people, so are their looks. White, black, Asian. Short, fat, tall, skinny. Anyone can have lots of children. Whether they do or don't is another issue all together.
So, when one asks what LOK looks like, you only have to tell them to look in the mirror.
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Article by: Michelle Lehmann
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