| February 2004 - This feature is a regular article where I share my observations, reflections, and "musings" about being a mother of a large family. I hope you enjoy my ramblings, and perhaps they will help inspire you, make you smile, or at the very least help pass a few minutes in your hectic day. |
It was late 2003 when I heard that Hollywood was re-making the film Cheaper by the Dozen. As its premier loomed, I commented to my husband that the movie was certain to put the focus on large families and that their popularity would rise. I also told him we should be ready for a surge of visitors to our website, since curiosity was bound to get the best of the general public. Jim just smile and nodded, and muttered under his breath that I was full of a certain nice not-so-nice word.
I wish I would have bet some money on it.
I must admit that I am amused with the attention large families are receiving as of late. Newspapers, televisions programs and the like are hunting for their local large broods and putting them in the spotlight. From simple features about the dedicated mom and dad who knew theyd have 10 kids from day one, to fluff pieces following a large family on a shopping trip, with great close-ups of the piles of grocery bags on the kitchen floor requiring hours to put up. From the average family of 8 to the not-so-average large adoptive family of 20, articles seem to be popping up everywhere. Sporting a website named lots of kids, I too was pulled up in the whirlwind, featured in an article in one of my local papers.
Its amazing to me that large families are the new in thing. From the rude comments that Ive gotten over the years during a shopping trips and outings with my large group, I honestly believed there would never be a time when I was fashionable. Its amazing to me that people actually want to know what its like to have a full-size van and fill every seat with my offspring.
As with many things in the media, I'm sure this too will pass. Large families and their chaotic households are merely the flavor of the month. The next scoop will be something about breeding killer goldfish, or something like that.
Any publicity is good publicity, the old adage goes. The mere fact that people are taking the time to get to know what its like to have a large family is a good thing. If societys mind changes just a bit, and having more than 1.8 children is viewed in a more positive light, then I can truly say that its a better world. But, Im not holding out for much more.
When I was personally interviewed, the conversation covered a wide range of topics from the trials and tribulations of having lots of kids, to the joys and pleasures that are unique to the family make-up that you simply cannot find with a small family. What ended up in the article was not how responsible and devoted my oldest is with her 5 siblings, but commentary on the number of loads of laundry a week I do. Other features, while quick to spotlight the bright and sunny side of large families, are quick to quote the statistics that large families just dont prosper like small families do, and dig to expose the dark side of having lots of kids, like sibling rivalry, lack of quiet, and so on. As if normal sized families are void of such problems.
Do people want to see the depth of the relationships in the large households? Do they want to see just how organized and smooth a household of 10 can run? Do they really want to know that not all children are upset when they cant get that $50 pair of gym shoes, because they know there are more important things than things? For the most part, society views large families like some uncharted civilization. They want to peer through the glass to see how much money it costs to put food on the table for 8 little mouths, plus mom and dad. They want to laugh and point at the 12 gallons of milk the group goes through in a week. Their eyes get wide when they learn of just how much work it takes to keep things going: 10+ loads of laundry a week, 20 runs of the dishwasher, and 15 bags of garbage. But they dont want to get too close. Learning that it is possible that having a large group can be done without losing ones sanity scares them a bit. It debunks the endless arguments against having another one, two, three, or more kids. As popular as large families are now, I think its safe to say, most will not be too quick to join the ranks.
I kinda have to look at this whole thing and remember that even somebody like Ozzy Ozbourne turned into societys little darling for a while, until the novelty wore off and he faded back into the woodwork. Im sure large families will too. My hope is that perhaps the good press will inspire the few truehearts out there who may be unsure if they can handle a large group; I hope they will be inspired and encouraged.
I guess Im just kinda puckering at the sour grapes. If there is any group that should be in the spotlight and truly given some good press, it should be big families. They deserve more than 15 minutes in the spotlight, and certainly a bit more than comments on how many pairs of shoes lie on the floor in the hallway. In my fondest dreams, I can hope and pray that the trend will continue and people will keep finding large families endearing. Maybe well actually start getting the respect that small families do. From the dirty look I got just the other day from the guy at the gas station as he saw my van-full of tiny tots, I doubt it. Im pretty sure things will be back to normal soon.
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Article by: Michelle Lehmann
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